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  • Quiara

Fear

Hi, I just wanted to ask for prayers this morning... I feel like I am living under a cloud of fear right now. This last year, 2019, started and ended pretty dramatically, and there was a lot of feelings to sort thru and happenings in between. I grew a lot as a Christian, but I felt a lot of fear thru the last year. Some of these fears were pretty strange to me... Like having nightmares about Zèzès safety and begging God every day to keep him safe and being afraid when his family texted me. And there have been all the normal girl fears about if I'm really good enough for him, plus added am I strong enough to live in another country, and financial worries about even working it out to get married. I feel like I have spent a lot of time on my knees begging God or wrestling with him like Jacob and I thought we were done with that now. This would be the "happy year." And now it feels like we are all living in some sort of Sci-fi imaginary situation and I find myself on my knees again doing the same thing. And having nightmares about being forced to marry someone else... And last night it was Corona patients escaping from a hospital to willingly run into the streets and try to spread the virus thru Haiti. It feels strange to a person who hasn't really been fearful so much before, and I don't want to live under this cloud or be fighting God or begging him to change his plan for me. Normally I would just get really busy or try to be with other people and reset my mind so that's why this next month looks super hard because that isn't possible. So keep me in your prayers and if you are facing your own fears this week, I am there with you trying to get thru it. I don't really know how to pray right now but I always do pray for God to heal the world and that includes all of you spiritually, physically, and mentally!!

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